15 Weeks!!!

In the pic I am 15 weeks and 3 days 

Pregnancy Highlights 

How Far Along: 15 weeks

Size of baby: Umm... Bigger than a large lemon? 

Total Weight Gain/Loss:  I haven't weighed...will see Monday when I go to the doc

Maternity Clothes: I am in mostly maternity clothes. I found a Motherhood outlet on vacation! That was fun!

Gender: I still think girl! GT and I have picked a girl name and boy name. We have told alot of people the boy name but if its a girl we are going to try to keep a secret until she is born. I have a REALLY hard time with secrets!

Movement: I totally felt the baby this week but it hasnt been consistent or anything

Sleep: Sleep was rough this week...sharing a queen bed with a snoring husband. But I've been catching up since we have been home! 

What I miss: Nothing really this week. There are a few things I wanted to do at the beach like jet skiing, parasailing that I couldn't do because I am preggo...but no big deal...Ill do it next summer! :) 

Cravings: Sour Candy...or fruity candy. On the drive home I ate a giant purple laffy taffy, Shockers and Sour Straws....all at the same time...

Symptoms:

My nausea is still better but it still comes most evenings. Some worst than others...

Best Moment this week: 

Spending time with my family at the beach. I have always loved the beach. It was so fun to watch the kids play in the waves and sand. And to spend so many days with my hubby plus getting to spend lots of time with my mama. We had lots of good talks some on the beach at night. And of course the baby got to be there too by default. Next summer we will have a 6 month old--CRAZY!!!

Weekly Update! 14 weeks!!!

I havent worn make up in a few days...packing/moving will do that to ya!

Pregnancy Highlights 

How Far Along: 14 weeks 6 days

Size of baby: Large Lemon 

Total Weight Gain/Loss:  Loss around 10 pounds and maintained so far

Maternity Clothes: I am in mostly maternity clothes. My athletic shorts/yoga pants still fit! 

Gender: I am leaning towards girl but ok with whatever, God knows best! We will find out in 2 weeks! 

Movement: I think I have felt him/her a few times especially in the tub, but GT says it just gas... lol... 

Sleep: Sleeping good and even a few naps here and there! 

What I miss: I miss liking coffee.

Cravings: Lots of carbs and sweets. I was really craving Panda Express the other day. It was seriously the best thing I have ever tasted. 

Symptoms:

My nausea is MUCH better! It still comes and goes some mostly in the evenings but its bearable. The other symptoms which I wont name because my mom doesnt like me talking about poop on my blog is getting better too. :)  That first trimester was a doozy!

Best Moment this week: 

Well if your reading this blog you probably already know we are moving to Shreveport. I had some friends come over Wednesday and help me pack up! I am so forever grateful because it would have taken me so long to do it myself and I am a little slower these days!

Disappointments

First of all, the baby is fine. As far as I know. But since I started to write again I forgot how much I missed it. Sometimes being a mom can be lonely and you have all these thoughts in your head but at the end of the day when the kids and life have sucked you dry, they just stay there. There is no energy to share them.

We have had a rough few months at the Nehls house. In December, GT changed to a new job. Completely different from what he was doing before. We weren't looking for a change but apparently it was looking for us. It was such a grey area. We prayed and prayed for God to make it a black and white decision. GT's previous job was comfortable and safe (at the time) so we couldn't understand why in the world we would need to leave it. And it meant making a move eventually. After lots of prayer and not really an answer, we gleaned from Moses, and took a big step of faith. GT accepted the new adventure and our lives took some changing. GT started driving to Shreveport everyday and we put the house on the market in January.

Not too long after GT started his new job, we heard about pay cuts, lay offs and other things happening at his previous company. Little by little, God confirmed that we had made the right decision. We felt such a reassurance and peace. We praised God during this season of loving us so much to intervene and lead us on this new journey.

The first few months were "good". We had faith, we prayed for a buyer and I put my big girl panties on and kept the house spotless for 3 months. (If you know me at all this is NOT normal) There was a week span where GT went to Canada and I mopped the floors 5 times that week. WHAT!?!???

So then I found out I was pregnant. I tried to get off my medication completely. And life began to show its ugly head. This is where I think we both started to take our eyes of Jesus. This didn't make sense...I was ready to get off the medication. We were "ready" to get pregnant. God orchestrated this new job and this new move...WHY WASNT OUR HOUSE SELLING???? Surely, God wanted our family to be together more. Not to mention my dad failing health. (Moving means being closer to my family) My mom needs me to be closer. Why? Why? Why? Why?

I could tell our relationship begin to change with each other. I blamed it on the pregnancy nausea/tiredness. Finally, it all came to ahead through a heated argument...that turned into an admission that we had both lost faith. Where is God in all of this? Why would He lead us this far and then stop? We felt Him so real in the beginning of all this...

This is the paragraph when I tell you that we sold our house for more than we were asking and we found the perfect house in Shreveport with awesome financing. BUT thats not how our story is unfolding. We are taking the house off the market next week and we are going to make it a rental property. Its scary and risky but we see no other options. We do feel good about this and are praying hard about who God has to move in.

So are we disappointed? Yes. It still sucks. And it hurts. This was not our plan. We had such a different idea of how this was going to play out. But I keep asking myself is God still good? Did God still lead GT to this job in the first place? Did God want us to get pregnant? And the answer is YES! 100% yes!

We were like Peter walking on water. We had so much faith at first, then God didn't show up how we wanted Him to so we took our eyes off of Him and put our eyes on ourselves. Of course we began to drown. Our marriage relationship, my temper with the kids and just my overall love or lack there of for life just started to fail.

 Just last week this began to change when we realized what we had done. We were so caught up in it, I didn't even see it. And God is beginning to speak to me, to reassure me, to give me nuggets of hope. I think He was doing this all along but I just quit looking.

GT sent me a devotional about disappointments that he get through his email everyday. I just cried when I read it because it summed up my feelings exactly. You can read it here.

Then I watched a video yesterday thats been floating around facebook. It is about a couple who experienced infertility for a few years. It's 15 minutes but it is so worth it if you haven't watched it yet. You can watch it here.

My favorite part is towards the end when she says God was telling her "I have been here this whole time, you didnt know it but I've been walking this thing with you. Trust me, trust me, trust me. I've got something good, I've got something good up ahead."

So I write all this to say I don't have any answers. I know so many people facing disappointments, struggles and hard times right now. I don't know why. I don't know what God is doing. I have NO IDEA why He is writing this chapter in our lives this way BUT I know HE has a reason. And whatever He is doing is better then anything we could have planned ourselves.

Weekly Update- 12 weeks!

Sorry for the bathroom selfie

Pregnancy Highlights:

Since I just started blogging about it, I will catch yall up and 4-12 weeks in one post! 

How Far Along: 12 weeks 

Size of baby: Clementine 

Total Weight Gain/Loss:  Loss around 10 pounds

Maternity Clothes: I am in some maternity shirts now...I still can fit in my normal pants. I feel like I am kind of cheating because I looked pregnant before I really was. 

Gender: At the beginning I was SURE it was a boy. But at the last doc appt the heart rate was 170 and for some reason I think it could be a girl! Should find out the end of June/ beginning of July. In the very beginning, I dreamt it was a boy- then 2 nights ago GT dreamt it was a girl! 

Movement: Not yet..but I know its coming! 

Sleep: The first few weeks were kind of rough but it is getting better. I am finding I sleep better when I am not at my house...isnt that strange?

What I miss: Wanting food, not being nauseous

Cravings: Cheese, Carbs, Sweets

Symptoms:

Nausea- I have been nauseous since about 6 weeks. I was nauseous with Audrie but not with Ki another reason I think maybe a girl. And I dont have "Morning" sickness. I have afternoon/evening sickness. I start to sick after lunch and stay that way until bed time. I am not throwing up just nauseous. Nothing sounds good to eat. I do feel like this is getting better. It still sucks!

Exhaustion- Oh man! This has really been not fun. From about 6-10 weeks I was SO EXHAUSTED in the afternoons. This has gotten ALOT better.

Then we cant forget the heartburn (isnt terrible yet) and constipation. I dont really remember that one with the last two so thats been a real fun surprise- NOT!

Best Moment this week: 

Really my best moments the past few weeks are how excited the kids are about mommy having a baby in my tummy. Ki really doesnt care about the baby, he just wants to be a big brother. Audrie is so excited- she is a little mama. She wants the baby to be another boy so she can "boss those boys around" she says! Ki wants a sister- who knows why? Audrie has been asking TONS of questions. Some a little hard to answer...and lots of explaining. Ki is completely oblivious! 

Other than that, the second sonogram was really fun. Hearing the heartbeat and seeing that baby do some flips! It always makes it seem more "real". Sometimes I still cant believe we will be a family of 5! 

Baby Nehls #3!

Well, it's been about 4 years since I have written a blog post! My how life changes with two kids! :)

Since we are pregnant with number 3, I have been going back and reading through the beginning of my pregnancies with the other 2. I love remembering stuff I have forgotten and being reminded of what it was like to be pregnant with each child...so I am back! Even though this is probably our last pregnancy, I still want to try to keep it documented!

I guess I should start by giving some background- after I had Ki I struggled with post partum anxiety. I started medication a week after he was born and was fine. I stopped the medication when he was around 4 or 5 months, and I was fine for 2 years. Then I started have panic attacks and really struggled with anxiety after that. This time getting on medication didnt "solve" it but I have learned how to live with it. (I still take medication for it-just wasnt a fix all)  My mental health has played in a big role in why we have waited so long to have another baby. For the past 2 years, we knew we wanted another child, but I was too scared. And Ki was a handful. Thankfully with age, Ki has calmed down some and I finally was at a place that I felt like I could handle another. I still had a lot of fear of what it would be like to be pregnant. What will happen to my mental health after this child? And all those thoughts that are NOT from God. This year we studied Moses in BSF and God used that to continue to speak to my fears. I had to let go of them and trust that God will take care of me and my family like he has continued to do throughout our life!

I started to wean off my medication and we felt "ready" as we will ever be. So my plan (I didnt tell GT) was to try for 3 months and if we didnt get pregnant then it was a sign from God that it wasnt His plan. Well the first 2 months I chickened out. Ha!  The third month I took the plunge and here we are!

I was supposed to start on March 26. I had started taking pregnancy test on March 23. They were always negative. I am usually very regular...so on March 28 I went and bought the expensive test, the ones that say pregnant or not pregnant. It said not pregnant. I was so frustrated. I really lack patience. I just wanted to know! I accepted at that point that I wasnt pregnant and being 30 just made my hormones whacky!

Fast forward to March 31...I had gone and run some errands. Went through the drive through at Panera Bread (Fuji salad...they are the best!)... Came home to watch a show and eat my salad. I still hadnt started so thought why not take another test. All I had left was the dollar store kind. I took it and forgot about it. I was eating my salad and remembered the test. I looked down at it...and...

Its a super faint line but its there! :) 

So this was at lunch time, I waited 5 hours to tell GT! This was REALLY hard! I am horrible at keeping secrets especially one like this! But I waited... And this is how I told him...

Top left- I am pregnant! 

I have a video of us telling the kids but it isnt working...so I will upload it to facebook later!

I hope to update weekly! I already have some things I dont want to forget! 

Book Review is BACK!

It has been way to long. Its so hard to blog when you have been gone for so long. Like where do I start? Is there even people out there anymore? HA!

I wanted to continue my previous blogs about books I would recommend about parenting. 

First a little back story...I did BSF last year (Bible Study Fellowship) and LOVED IT! I had an awesome group leader named Leslie. We clicked pretty instantly and one day I had the idea that I wanted her to mentor me. Like Titus talks about the older women mentoring the younger and so on...I asked her and she said she would love to! I was so excited! She is full of wisdom and so sweet. Her kids are school age so she still remembers the little years well but is at a different stage of where I am...

We decided to "mentor" by reading Christian books and discussing a chapter a week. The first book we chose was James Dobson, Dare to Discipline. Who can go wrong with Dr. Dobson, right?

A quick review on this book: It is old. Like even when you get the revised version its still pretty outdated. There are alot of Biblical truths that are eternal but some practical and cultural things are different then where we are now. I think it was a great book if you have older children especially school-aged and if you are a educator. It had a lot of good information on the education system in America and about issues that arise when your children are in school. Only about the first 4 chapters were really geared towards home discipline and were applicable with small children at home. I will keep this book and re-visit it when my children are in school.

So, when we were done that, we went to to read The Mission of Motherhood: Touching You Child's Heart for Eternity. This was such a good book! I felt like almost every chapter she was writing my heart on pages. There is too much good stuff to write about in one post, so I think I will take every chapter and discuss what touched me and what the main ideas were. And at the end of each chapter there are scripture references and questions to deepen your understanding of what you read and help you apply to your life and family. 

I will end with one of my favorite quotes from the book found in the introduction of the book. "The fundamental mission of motherhood now is the same as it always was: to nurture, protect, and instruct children, to create a home environment that enables them to learn and grow, to help them develop a heart for God, and his purposes, and to send them out into the world prepared to live both fully and meaningfully."

-Sally Clarkson, The Mission of Motherhood, pg 5

My Mom

I was going to type a status on facebook about my mom for her birthday. But I just couldnt seem to fit it in the little box they allow for a status. Time and space will not allow or couldnt even begin to tell of how much my mom means to me, but I will give you an idea...

First, my mom taught me how to be a wife. She taught me how to love my husband. She taught me how to serve him. How to put his needs above everyone else's (sometimes I am not too good at it, but she taught me how). She taught me how to be an encourager to my husband and how to pray for him daily. She taught me how to be submissive to my husband even thought I have a strong will, opinion and a loud mouth. She taught me how to be my husbands #1 cheerleader. Many of things, I learned from my mom by just watching her and my dad's relationship.

My mom taught me how to be a mom. I have never met a more loving, selfless mom. She helped my dad start churches, be on staff, preach, pastor, etc... while raising 3 children. She stayed home with all of us until we were school-aged and sacrificed alot of her time and money to keep us a priority in her life. She taught me how to show grace to my children and to make being a mom a ministry. She taught me that teaching my children about the Lord is the most important role a mom can play in her child's life. She taught me to be calm and in control when things get crazy. She taught me to sing and laugh alot with my kids. She taught me that when your a mom, you no longer have a life to yourself. She taught me that kids always come before the needs of my own. She taught me to be a mom first then a bestfriend. She taught me that sometimes you have to say tough things and give tough love to your children. She taught me that one of the most important things you can do for your children is to love and respect their daddy and make sure they know it. 

The most valuable thing my mom has taught me is how to love the Lord. My mom taught me how to have a real, genuine faith. She taught me scripture and Biblical truths. She taught me Bible story after Bible story. She taught me how to live out what I believed. She taught me how to not be ashamed of my salvation. She taught me how to love others and share Christ with them. She taught me how to always bring a meal or gift to someone who was in need. She taught me how to call or visit those who are sick and need a friend. She taught me how to keep my relationship with Christ my number 1 priority. She taught me how to love.

Happy Birthday Mama! :)