Thoughts about death...A year later

A year ago today my daddy entered Heaven.

Death has taught me and continues to teach me through grieving. Death isn't natural for us. Ki recently asked me "why do people die?" The short answer- SIN. We went back to the garden of Eden for that one. Ki then said "I don't want to die!" Of course, buddy, we don't want to die. Our soul is meant to be eternal. We aren't meant to die. We were created to live for eternity. We have this yearning inside of us to live forever.  And we will all live forever. 

Death is unescapable. We will all die. And when we die all of our stuff stays. The world keeps revolving. People keep going to work and school. Activities still go on. Sports are still played and meals are still eaten. Of course for us, it will always be missing piece. So many times I've picked up my phone to call dad and tell him something. It physically hurts my heart that he is not here to hold Powell. To see Leslie's new tricks. To hear Ki's new joke. To see Audrie's new drawing. 

A verse that was shared at my dad's funeral and has stuck with me--"It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart." Ecclesiastes 7:2   

The birth of a baby has always amazed me how one day you don't have a baby then the next day you do. Especially with your first. You have no idea what you are doing and they let you take this new life home! Just as quick as that seems death is even quicker. For 32 years, I had an amazing father physically on Earth. Then after 10 short and long days in hospitals, its over. And even though we KNOW dad is in Heaven, it was surreal to leave his physical body. 

If you were at dad's life celebration then you heard of the legacy my dad left. And once we leave this Earth, that is all that's left here (besides all the stuff that family has to go through :)) What a challenge it has been for me daily to consider what legacy I am leaving behind. I struggle often with feeling like I am not doing enough for God's kingdom. I am at home feeding babies and changing diapers. I pray that my children will be world changers. I hope that dad's prayers are still being heard for all of his grandchildren and children. That they will all follow, love and serve the Lord.

I am so thankful for all the memories. Family was so important to my dad. We tried to get together as much as possible. He was there for every life event. GT and I were just talking the other day about when he got laid off, my parents came over right away and brought us out to dinner at Outback. Then a few years later when GT got a new job they came to Longview and we celebrated! Every birthday, parties, graduations, hospital stay, showers, you name it- dad was there. He always answered his phone with wisdom to share. We had many talks in his living room about life. He shared theology with me when I had questions. His answer for anything was always to pray. We prayed about the insignificant and the huge decisions. 

What a gift it was and is to have a dad who loved the Lord with all of his heart, soul and mind. Even though he is terribly missed, we will spend eternity together worshipping Jesus. 

The Beginning of LESS

Two BIG things have really shaped me this year.

The death of my dad.
The birth of Powell.

I will write a long post about the first one on a different day. Death has showed me more how much stuff doesn't matter. It all stays here. Things are just things. Life is so so so short. And what matters is nothing that can be bought.

Second, having a 4th child has forced me to let more go. I can't be a Pinterest mom. I used to be. And I loved it. I love crafting and giving. I don't have the mental or physical space anymore. I don't have the time or money. Many things fall to the side and when they do it makes you wonder why you were doing it all this time. I haven't made a goody bag for any of my kids classes in 3 years. And it is FREEING! (no hate for those that do- keep going sister!)

I have been living my life in a constant state of being overwhelmed. And for awhile, I just accepted it as my new normal. I have 4 kids- 1 who is challenging daily, 2 who are babies-19 months apart. Who wouldn't be overwhelmed??? But there has to be a better way. Women have raised multiple children since the beginning. Lots more children then just 4. Surely they weren't always overwhelmed. What is the difference?

My answer: LESS.

They had a simpler life. Less stuff. Less media. Less commitments. Less choices. More family time. More of things that matter. Space to read and space to think. Space to make delicious food from scratch.

But heres the thing about me. I dont make resolutions. Because I am a quitter. I am the baby of the family. The opposite of type A perfectionist. If something gets hard, I quit. (obviously not the important stuff like my marriage or children) More like a diet. Or working out. I am not going to make a resolution to blog/write more. However, I hope to do those things more.

Sooooo... I am taking baby steps into LESS.

First I am reading this book...

Finished chapter 1 and I plan to declutter my house before moving to chapter 2. So who knows how long this process will be. I will blog about each step for accountability and maybe you can join me!
My plan is to get rid of anything that isn't necessary, needed or something special to our family.

I plan to work in my bedroom first. I feel like our bedroom becomes a catch all. So much stuff just put in here because I dont want it out there. I think our bedroom should be our sanctuary and I have given that up for far too long. Also, I have had 2 babies in 2 years which means my wardrobe is ridiculous. Too many clothes that don't fit.

First project in my room is reorganizing my desk. I am not giving up crafting forever. I tend to craft from time to time for gifts. I asked Gt the other day why we have a desk full of stuff we don't use. It just sits there. Cords, books, cell phone boxes, etc... I could utilize this space with my craft supplies instead of having to go to the garage every time I need them.

I am putting it out there for the world to see...and for accountability. (No promised time line here but hopefully sooner than later)

AHHHHHH!!! Its a mess! Why are we keeping all this stuff??? We hardly use any of it! Change is coming my friend and I am excited!

Second small way I am saying yes to more and no to less is saying yes to my kids more when I can. I have started letting Audrie (age 8) cook with me. This has made me slow down and enjoy cooking, and I am teaching her how to cook!

It's hamburger helper Velvetta style. Lol...Which sometimes is a means for survival. 

Last thing I am going to mention is someone suggested Allie Casazza! I have been looking through her blogs/website and I think it will help me on my journey!

Tell me you favorite ways to make life more simple! I look book/blog/podcast recommendations!