Getting Rid of the Checklist

I started attending a bible study called "Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl". I am so excited about this! I just finished the first chapter and couldnt wait to blog about it!

The reason why:

Her story is like mine in ways. She has endured more heartache and hard times then I have for sure. But she came to a point in life where she felt stuck. Oh, have I felt that!

During college, I lived a checklist life. Here was my checklist:

• Go to BCM
• Be on BCM council
• Go to church
• Go to college group
• Go to chapel
• Dont drink
• Dont go to any parties
• Hang out with only people I KNOW are Christians and who dont do things that would offend my checklist
• Only dance at BCM foot-functions
• Read Bible on occasion but act like I do more than that
• Make people think I am perfect
• Being outgoing, funny and always happy
• Etc...

This was the checklist I lived by for the first 3 years of college. And honestly, 1 of those years, I would say I experienced a form of depression. I felt so alone. All I had was my checklist and it made me feel empty. 

Then I met a guy and we started dating. He was a Christian, but did not grow up in the church. And he showed me that my checklist was stupid. However, without my checklist, I didnt know how to live. I ended up making some wrong choices. And even though I got rid of my checklist all together, I replaced it with him and other things that left me empty too.

I have learned (the hard way)...Following Jesus have nothing to do with a checklist. Because a checklist would mean we could do it on our OWN. And WE CANT.  Following Jesus has nothing to do with who we are or what we can do but everything to do with who HE IS. 

Maybe this sounds familiar to you. Trying to follow a checklist. Trying to put on a perfect facade but on the inside you feel empty and desperate.

I love how Lysa puts it in her book, "Ask a group of Christian women what makes them feel fulfilled and chances are they'll answer you with things they do. But true fulfillment is never found in seeking to do enough, be enough, have enough, know enough, or accomplish enough. 'Enough' is elusive, always just slightly out of reach". 

Jesus is the ONLY person who can fulfill us "enough". He NEVER intended for Christianity to be a checklist. He intended it to be a RELATIONSHIP with HIM.