The Big Girl Bed Saga

Re-Cap of bed transition week 1:

Monday night was Audrie's first night in her twin bed. I thought I would just go in there read her a book, sing a few songs, pray with her, then leave. Well that didnt work. As soon as I got up, she came to the door screaming, opened the door (which she has never done before)...so GT went in and laid down with her until she fell asleep. He has so much more patience with that kind of thing then I do. And she slept all night. Until about 7:30, I heard her whimper and went in to get her.

Tuesday nap- she was exhausted so I thought I could just put her in the bed...I was wrong. I laid down with her about 5 minutes, she fell asleep, but only slept 1 hour :(

Tuesday bedtime- GT laid down with her. Took about 5-8 minutes and she was out, slept all night.

Wednesday bedtime- (naptime-I work, so she napped at the sitter's) same ordeal as the night before and she slept until 8am!

Thursday nap- I put her down kinda earlier than usual because I had some cleaning to do! She also was pretty tired. I laid down with her, and it didnt take long for her to fall asleep, but only she slept an hour again! I am not sure if this is coincidence and she is changing her sleep pattern or if its the bed.

Thursday night- went well, GT put her down. This morning when I went to get her at 7:45 she was awake, not crying, just sitting in her bed. I think this was a good sign!

Overall, I think it is going good. I do wish she would go to sleep without us laying down with her and I am sure in a few weeks that will happen. I didnt realize how much her crib provided her with security. Another challenge will come when we move her toys out of the playroom into her bedroom.

27 weeks!

This is mama keeping it real! I have been cleaning all day...for real. I think this is the first time I have sat down all day for longer than 5 minutes and its 9:00!

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 27 Weeks

Size of baby: About 2 pounds, length: approx 14 1/2 inches

Total Weight Gain/Loss:  Gained 20 lbs :(

Maternity Clothes: I am in everything maternity. 

Gender: Boy. Hezekiah "Ki" Eugene

Movement: He has been doing some crazy flips!

Sleep: Sleep has been better this week. Its crazy how I can go to sleep at 10 pm, wake up at 8 am and still be tired!

What I miss: being thin

Cravings: Spaghetti with easy cheese on it, it was so delicious. And donuts (I always crave those preggo or not)

Symptoms: This week every pregnancy symptom decided to hit full force...lower back pain, syatic (sp?) nerve pain, leg cramping, etc...

Best Moment this week:  Sunday taking Audrie to the park and getting her new furniture! 

Big Girl Room Part 1

We are in the process of turning Audrie's nursery into a big girl room. Our original plan was to give her pieces of our current furniture (which was mine growing up) and buy new furniture for us. We decided to hold off on buying us new furniture until we see how much Ki's birth will cost. We would rather pay that in full instead of having to pay monthly payments, and there is nothing wrong with our current furniture. I would just like a new set.

So...we got my old twin bed from my parents and it needs stained. Then I thought I would paint it white. Then yesterday we went to Big Lots to buy Audrie a new twin mattress and ended up buying her new furniture!

This is what we got:

This is one piece but I couldnt find the picture that showed it as one piece.

Originally, we were going to get this for her dresser:

Our store was out of it, but they thought the Marshall store would have it. So I called them and they said they would hold it for me. Last night we went to pick it up, but they didnt have one in stock only the display. GT went and looked at the display and said it was broken. He then asked for the bigger more expensive dresser at a discount and they knocked $50 off! WOOHOO! So we got this one instead:

I plan to paint the knobs the green color of her room to give it a little color. We tried to get it all together last night, but we couldnt get the crib out of her room, so gt will have to take it apart to move it unto the now play room and future room of Ki's. 

Here is the bedding I got for Audrie:

Only difference is I got hot pink sheets instead of the blue in the picture.

I will post before and after pics as we get her room set up! 

What I want...Pack N Play

We did get a normal pack-n-play for Audrie which is currently at the sitter's house for her to nap in. However, I will be bringing Ki to work and I use it as a bassinet for the first few months.

So this time, I dont want a normal one. I was a good one. Because he will be in it way more than Audrie was in hers. 

From the little research I have done, this is the one I like:

Graco Silhouette Pack n Play - Crawford

These are the functions I love: The cozy, oval bassinet embraces your baby with carefully applied details like Graco Signature quilting. Unlike traditional quilting methods which create holes in the fabric allowing leaks and spills to seep through and dirty the padding beneath, Graco signature quilting is ultrasonically quilted to prevent seepage, ensuring a cleaner, neater nap-time. The baby basics organizer with built in wipes case and diaper organizer blends practical baby care with style and flair. The innovative squeeze latch adds graceful detailing and natural folding motion. Your little one can sleep peacefully under the full slumber dome canopy which shades the bassinet with a calm, charming influence. If your little one needs a little extra soothing, the deluxe electronic mobile allows you to use 2-speed vibration which is mounted under the mattress pad so your baby will receive the full soothing benefit, or try one of the five tranquil nature sounds or calming songs.. And with a timer that has 4 settings there's no need to disturb your little one once he or she has drifted off to dreamland. But if you do want to take a peek, there's a built in night light.

I dont love the price... $170.00. Boo. 

Hannah House FAQ's

I had blogged a few months ago about Hannah House and how God had led me to the ministry. I dont think I have written much about it since. I started working 3 days a week in November when our house opened on November 16 (I think).

Here are some commonly asked questions:

What is Hannah House? A maternity home.

What is a maternity home? A maternity home is a residence for pregnant women with unplanned pregnancies.

How many girls can live at your home? Currently, we have 4 girls at a time. And let me tell you, 4 pregnant girls is plenty!

Do you make them place their baby for adoption? No we do not. We do have an adoption agency we work with called Chosen Child, but we do not coerce them or make them do anything. We give them alot of information on adoption and parenting, we trust God to lead them in the right direction for His will.

Do you make them go to church? Yes. The ministry was vision from God, therefore, all learning materials, our program and staff use scripture to teach the girls. They are told before coming into our program what our rules and expectations are, which they have to sign an agreement to.

What do yall do all day? We are not a shelter or just a place for pregnant girl to live until she gives birth. We are a program. Like I mentioned before, we help them with a plan. We have various classes they go through, such as Life Skills, Parenting, Marriage, Finance, Sewing, GED (if they have not completed it), Birthing. They also attend individual and group counseling as well as weekly Bible Study in addition to going to church and attending a small group at church.  They cook home-cooked meals every night as a family and live as an average family would.

What happens after they have the baby? From the time they enter our program, we help our residents with a plan. This plan usually changes throughout the course of their time here, but we try to help them come into the real world and get out of fantasy land. If they chose to parent, then we have a plan of where they are going once the baby is born. Sometimes this is relatives, another program, friends, their own housing, etc... If they chose to place, they can stay here for up to 6 weeks, or be in our aftercare program (Mary Hannah House) which helps them get a job, go to school, counseling, etc.. After each girl has their baby, no matter their choice of parenting, we have a celebration of life ceremony at the house with a pastor. We are not licensed to have babies in our home.

How can I help? We are a non-profit completely funded by individual and church donations. The only government assistance we allow is for the girls to have Medicaid, since we cannot afford insurance for them. We try to teach the residents about getting off of government assistance. Therefore, we need money.

 When most people hear of maternity home, they want to donate baby stuff. We do not take baby items. There are a few reasons: 1. No room for them 2. We want the residents to really consider the options they have for their child so we would rather wait until the end of their pregnancy before they know what they want to do 3. Not all girls in the program are parenting. We have to be sensitive to all the girls. This does not mean we leave the girls with nothing. Towards the very end, if a girl has decided to parent or place, we do let them pick out some outfits, blankets for the baby. Also, if the mother is parenting and needs baby items such as a crib, car seat, etc...we will send out an email to our local donors and contacts and believe me, we have no problem getting these items.

We do accept maternity clothes donation. Many of our girls come into our program with little or no clothing. We have a closet of clothes that stays at the home, we allow the girls to go through and wear the clothing while they are here.

How can I find out more information? We have a website: www.plministries.org . Also, we do a quarterly newsletter which you can find on our website or if you would like one emailed/mailed to you, you can email me: lydia at plministries.org

I know people usually have alot of questions because maternity home are few and far between. Not because their isnt a need. There is a HUGE need. We are always full. And usually have a waiting list.

I thought I would do this posts too because our first Hannah House baby was born last night or this morning, I guess at 2:14 am!

This is A'Miyah La'Nae! We are so excited and grateful for a healthy baby and mama!

26 weeks!

No pic this week! :(

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 26 Weeks

Size of baby: About a pound and 2/3, length: approx 14 inches, knowing our child probably 18!

Total Weight Gain/Loss:  Gained 18 lbs :(

Maternity Clothes: I am in everything maternity. 

Gender: Boy. Hezekiah "Ki" Eugene

Movement: He has finalllllyyyy moved up!!!! Praise the Lord! I can feel him move around my belly button when I lay flat. When I am upright he is still really low, but I will take what I can get!

Sleep: Sleep has been sucky! If I wake up for any reason (husband snoring, dogs, pee, etc..) I am awake and cannot get back to sleep. And last night Audrie woke up every 2 hours or so from running fever from her 18 mo vaccinations. 

What I miss: my energy

Cravings: Pound cake

Symptoms: The usual. Still lots of pressure, cant stand for too long.

Best Moment this week:  spending time with my husband talking over dinner Monday night...without a toddler interrupting!

Being Realistic about Parenting

I have this fear of raising my children wrong. I guess it all started when they put Audrie in my arms at the hospital and this wave of humility rushed over me. I remember thinking, I cant believe God has given this gift to me...now what do I do?

After a month or two, I begin getting the hang of things and we got a routine. I figured out what advice worked for us and what didnt. I began thinking, oh this isnt going to be as hard as I thought. Until she became a toddler. And not only was her mobility a challenge, but the fact that I had to start real discipline. It is a scary thing to me.

One of my favorite shows of all time is Intervention. It just sucks me in. I love watching the character develop over time and figuring out why they are the way they are. But then I think of my sweet little Audrie and how all of these people were babies at one time. How does this sweet child grow into a drug abuser or alcoholic. Usually, they have experienced a parental divorce, some have experienced abuse and some have parents who were drug abusers themselves. So I think ok, if I dont get a divorce, beat my kid or do drugs then it will be ok. Ha! Seriously, it is a scary tasks set before us as parents. No one wants to screw up their children, so to speak.

The book I am reading currently, "What the Bible Says about Parenting", by John MacArthur offered me some relief. Every child is born a sinner. We come into the world with sin in our hearts. It is a very hard concept to wrap my mind around at times, because you want to think that this child you have is so innocent. AND I know she is not innocent. I figured that out long ago, but I sure hate to think of her a sinner. But she is. It is her nature. Just like it is mine. So basically, we dont have to DO anything to "screw" up our kids, it starts from the moment they are born. Sin is the problem.

Oh, but there is hope! The same hope we have found in God through our salvation. We cannot just sit back and bring our children to church weekly and hope they turn out ok. We have to raise our children in the grace and admonition of the Lord.

Deuteronomy 6:7 says it best,
   "Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."


It is not about what parents DO that matters, it is about what parents DONT DO. We are sinners and cannot possibly be perfect parents, but we do have a responsibility to parent our children according to scripture.

More on this to come...I am only chapter 2...this is some good stuff!

25 Weeks

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 25 Weeks

Size of baby: About a pound and 1/2...Length: 13 1/2 inches. Size of an average Rutabaga. What is a rutabaga?

Total Weight Gain/Loss:  Gained 16 lbs :(

Maternity Clothes: I am in everything maternity. 

Gender: Boy. Hezekiah "Ki" Eugene

Movement: He loves moving at night, of course!

Sleep: Sleep has been great this week!

What I miss: Being able to hold pee.

Cravings: Taco Bell Mexican Pizza, Captain Crunch (with Crunch Berries)

Symptoms: The usual. Lots of pressure, cant stand for too long.

Best Moment this week:  Listening to Ki's heartbeat. I love him! :)

And some fun pics while we were trying to get a good belly pic!

Trying to get a pic of Audrie kissing baby bro, we just arent fast enough!

Some sweet mama love!

Audrie, give mama a kiss! Audrie: No!

I'm gonna get one anyway!

What I want...Audries bedding

We are moving Audrie to a twin bed very soon. Which means I have got to find new bedding for her! Here is the situation: I love her room color and I dont want to change it. It is a green color. AND I am not a fan of characters. Here is what I like so far:

This has the matching green! And it is cute. I just feel likes its too popular. And it does have characters somewhat. There is alot of decoration I can do with it. I dont know, its an option.

I like this one minus the green circle in the middle that says green peace.

I might just get a pink/green plain comforter and make cute decor. 

I just found this from BB&B, I love it!!!!!!!This might be the winner!

I had my monthly doctor's visit yesterday! Here are the details:

BP: 110/60 good!
Belly: Measuring 24, perfect!
Weight gain: Not so good- 16 lbs total.
Blood Sugar: 88, great!
Ki's heart rate: 150

All in all was a good visit. In Longview, the OB/GYN does the circumcision not the pediatrician, so we had a talk about that. I dont know why it makes me nervous. Then we talked about the amount of pressure I have been feeling, he concluded it was just because Ki is so low. Then when I was leaving, I talked to the nurse about our financial agreement.

With Audrie we were soooooo so so so fortunate. I worked for the state and had BCBS insurance through them and my husband had insurance through his work, which I was on both. My final hospital bill was around $62,000.00. Whoa. And we didnt have to pay a penny. Thank you God!!!! This time we do have insurance and are so grateful for it, but we will have to pay some. I did throw myself a little pity party about how expensive it is to have a baby. Then God reminded me all He has done for my family. Not just the one I have now, but my family growing up. There were tough times, times I didnt know about it until my parents told us later....but He was always faithful. And He will be again! :)

Some fun news...Im gonna have another sonogram in a month! I wasnt really expecting to have another one, so I am excited to see little Ki's sweet face again!

What I Want...Mei Tai

When Audrie was about a month old, maybe a little older, I got a Moby Wrap. And it changed our lives forever!!!!

Aw, this picture made me tear up. I miss Audrie being this tiny! Although, I feel sorry for myself in this picture, so tired, so clueless...

Anyway, I feel like Baby Wearing is kinda like Cloth Diapering. You just want to try them all. There is nothing wrong with the Moby. I do plan to use it with Ki. But I want to try different kinds. When Audrie was about 8 months old and too big for the Moby, I bought a ring sling. And it never really worked for us. I dont know if she was too heavy or if I was putting it on wrong. I did save it and will try it out with Ki as well.

What I want is....a Mei Tai...and my friend Charity, said her favorite was a Freehand Mei Tai.

She prefers this wearer because of less fabric left over. Which I dont have that problem due to my weight, I pretty much us most of the fabric in the moby :)  I LOVE that it is cuter! And the baby seems more snug in it than the Moby. 

They run about $72, but I heard a new maternity store here, Babies N Bellies are going to sell them and I won a $50 gift card to there at MOPS...so if they do, I believe I will be getting one! 

What I want...

I listen to Kidd Kraddick every morning on my way to work. Jenna does this segment, I think its called "What Jenna Wants"...anyway its usually designer clothes, shoes and really expensive make-up. The idea is that its stuff she wants but cant neccessarily afford. And listeners get to comment on the things she wants on her blog.

Being 4 months away from child #2, there are alot of things "I want" for him and me. And some for Audrie. Just like Jenna's list, some things I wont get and cannot possibly afford, but its fun to want. Some things I do hope to save up money to buy.

Item #1 Diaper Bag

This is the kind of bag I want: has backpack capabilities as well as should carrying and stroller straps. Has a hard shell...meaning not just cloth. Something sturdy I can wipe off easily. Has lots of room. We are going to be doing cloth diapers and they take up lot of room. And last but not least something CUTE. Most of the backpack diaper bags actually look like backpacks. And I dont want that.

My bestie and I were looking around a local boutique here...which I never buy anything from because I cant afford it! And I was looking at their Kalencom diaper bags. Which I like the look of them, but no backpack feature and that is key for me. Especially with two. Now, I use a small backpack diaper bag for Audrie and love it. Anyway, and then I saw, Petunia Pickle Bottom Boxy Backpacks.

I fell in love. It has every feature I dreamed of. The bags are a little more fancy then I would design them, but I love it none the less. Then I saw the price tag, $167.00. Ugh. No wonder it is everything I want.

They come in three different fabric types: My fav is the glazed because it has the wipe off/sturdy affect.

And, they just put out their spring collections. Here are my favorites:

  

These are really small...and I dont know how to make them bigger! I am not in love with either of these patterns, I am going to keep looking for sells!

Next item...baby wearers!

24 Weeks and Audrie is 18 Months!

This is a my child has the flu and we have been inside for 3 days so mommy is comfy clothes picture!

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 24 Weeks

Size of baby: Over a pound and the length of an ear of corn.

Total Weight Gain/Loss:  Gained 15 lbs :(

Maternity Clothes: I am in everything maternity. 

Gender: Boy. Hezekiah "Ki" Eugene

Movement: He is moving ALOT! Today, Audrie and I took a nap together in the recliner and he kept moving. Not sure if it was like get off of me or hello sister of mine! :)

Sleep: Sleep is hit or miss. Last night I woke up at 3 am wide awake and didnt go back to sleep until about 5:30. 

What I miss: Jeans that are somewhat attractive.

Cravings: Raisin Bran Crunch, Apples in Peanut Butter, Caramel Cinnamon Rolls

Symptoms: Heartburn

Best Moment this week:  Audrie has had the flu and I have enjoy rocking her to sleep and even napping with her some. That really has nothing to do with Ki or my pregnancy but I have enjoyed it. Secondly, God is really teaching me alot and I LOVE IT! :)

Audrie is 18 months old!!!! 

Here is the wild woman:

I am not going to lie 14-18 months have been the most challenging months, but OH SO MUCH FUN! I am not going to start potty training like I had thought. Audrie has sat on the potty a few times but nothing happened. Hopefully, we will be moving her to a twin bed as making room for Ki begins! 

Audrie has a wide vocabulary and repeats most everything we say. Her favorite toys are her babies. She likes to push them around in their strollers or the shopping cart. She can point to and say most of her body parts. She knows the name of alot of animals and what sounds they make. Her favorite song is the "Itsy Bitsy Spider". She has started eating less and become more picky. She could care less about colors. She can count somewhat. I say 1, she sayd twwwooooo, then who knows what comes next. Usually five or six. Ha! One of my favorite things is she says Bless you when we sneeze and she is starting to say thank you without being prompted!

Usually GT makes a silly face when I make a serious one. So this time, I thought I would do silly and what does the man do? :)

How to Control the Monster

The day after I posted "The Monster Inside of Me", my Bible study was about uncontrolled emotions. I guess the monster has a name! :)

I decided I wanted go into a little more detail of the monster. Do you ever feel sometimes you cant control your emotions? Or they are so out of control that you dont even realize it? That is what is usually going on when my "monster" appears. And the thing is...emotions are good. God created them. And He created women with many of them :)  but sometimes we let them control us. And we let them decide how we treat others.

For me, it wasnt until pregnancy/newborn phase/ toddler phase that I had such strong emotions. Mixed with being a newlywed. Mixed with working for CPS and my husband losing his job...etc...etc...That will all bring on ALOT of emotions.

So the question isnt how to get rid of emotions. Like I said, I believe they are a good thing. I would HATE not being able to feel. The quest is to find out how to not let them get out of control and how to have a healthy release of emotion like my friend reminded me in my previous post.

Here are things that are helping and have helped me on this journey:
Praying (I have to do this ALOT)
Reading Scripture
Reading Books (Some Christian, some just an escape)
Late night talks with my GT
MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers)
Bible Study
Church (I cant tell you how 2 hours of worship/sermon help my monster)
Working Part-Time
Date Night
Painting
Play Dates
Etc...

How do you control your emotions from becoming a monster???

I need MOM advice!

I need advice from mom's of two or more children, preferably if you had them close together and they were using baby items at the same time.

1. Double Stroller. Do I need to invest in an expensive one or should I just get an umbrella type double stroller? My thoughts: I plan on wearing Ki as much as possible for the first 6 months of his life. The only time in those 6 months I think I will need a stroller is if we go somewhere that will be a lengthy amount of time, (i.e. the zoo, day of shopping, etc...)

The two I like are:

$99 at Target. I really like the side by side strollers.

or

Which can do all sorts of cool things and is $199 at Target. I really love this stroller. I just cant decide if it is worth the money. 

I dont really even use a stroller that often with Audrie anymore. I used to when I walked with my girlfriends, but since I am working I wont be doing that.

Baby Monitors

Am I still going to want one in Audries room after Ki is here? I mean she sleeps through the night even when she is sick. I think the only reason I will is because she will be in a toddler bed and sometimes I might want to see what she is doing. We have video monitors and LOVE them!

I really thought I had more questions but cant think of them at the moment. I will welcome any advice as I start preparing to have 2 little ones! Also, if you have brought your infant to work with you, I will take any advice on that as well. The plan as of now is to take Ki to work with me until he is atleast 6 months old! AH! :)

The Monster Inside Me

The "monster" really came unleashed during my first pregnancy. I became this hormonal mess of a woman. I treated my husband worst than I would treat my dog. When I look back at it, I think WHO was that woman? I get embarrassed by how I acted and even though we laugh about it now, I still tell GT how sorry I am for being that way. What I hate the most is I thought it was ok. I blamed it on the pregnancy and my job. Even though they did contribute a big deal, it was not ok.

Then, Audrie is born. I wish the monster went away. But she didnt. She really got worst. And my husband had some monster come out in him. Of course we couldnt take it out on our newborn, so we took it out on each other. We blamed it on lack of sleep and the exhaustion only a new baby could bring. I dont remember even feeling a bond with my husband during that first 3 months of Audries life. We were only surviving.

Things got better. We attended a marriage retreat and God really did a work in our marriage which in turn affected our patience with each other and with a baby...

Then Audrie became a toddler. And my monster returned. I have a hard time explaining the frustration that a toddler brings. It is so much fun and I love her more than I could ever imagine loving someone, along with it comes a different kind of exhaustion and frustration. I would never have thought I would get so worked up over a 18 month old getting in dog food. And of course I blame it on being pregnant again and Audrie being so strong-willed. Again, both of those did contribute, but I hate who I become at times. This is not the example God wants me to pass on to Audrie.

I have been struggling with this for a few months now. It comes and goes, some days are worst than others. Then God spoke...

And He said, Lydia...come to me. Pray to me for the patience and the wisdom. You are trying to be a parent on your own and this is never how it is supposed to be. On your own, you are a monster because you're broken come to me and I will make you whole.

I cannot tell you the relief and peace I feel now. Will the monster still come out? More than likely. But the fact that God is on my parenting team makes me rest assured that things will be ok. Part of this has come from reading the book "What the Bible Says about Parenting" by John McArthur. I am only on the second chapter and it has been life-changing. I will share more later...