Since we are pregnant with number 3, I have been going back and reading through the beginning of my pregnancies with the other 2. I love remembering stuff I have forgotten and being reminded of what it was like to be pregnant with each child...so I am back! Even though this is probably our last pregnancy, I still want to try to keep it documented!
I guess I should start by giving some background- after I had Ki I struggled with post partum anxiety. I started medication a week after he was born and was fine. I stopped the medication when he was around 4 or 5 months, and I was fine for 2 years. Then I started have panic attacks and really struggled with anxiety after that. This time getting on medication didnt "solve" it but I have learned how to live with it. (I still take medication for it-just wasnt a fix all) My mental health has played in a big role in why we have waited so long to have another baby. For the past 2 years, we knew we wanted another child, but I was too scared. And Ki was a handful. Thankfully with age, Ki has calmed down some and I finally was at a place that I felt like I could handle another. I still had a lot of fear of what it would be like to be pregnant. What will happen to my mental health after this child? And all those thoughts that are NOT from God. This year we studied Moses in BSF and God used that to continue to speak to my fears. I had to let go of them and trust that God will take care of me and my family like he has continued to do throughout our life!
I started to wean off my medication and we felt "ready" as we will ever be. So my plan (I didnt tell GT) was to try for 3 months and if we didnt get pregnant then it was a sign from God that it wasnt His plan. Well the first 2 months I chickened out. Ha! The third month I took the plunge and here we are!
I was supposed to start on March 26. I had started taking pregnancy test on March 23. They were always negative. I am usually very regular...so on March 28 I went and bought the expensive test, the ones that say pregnant or not pregnant. It said not pregnant. I was so frustrated. I really lack patience. I just wanted to know! I accepted at that point that I wasnt pregnant and being 30 just made my hormones whacky!
Fast forward to March 31...I had gone and run some errands. Went through the drive through at Panera Bread (Fuji salad...they are the best!)... Came home to watch a show and eat my salad. I still hadnt started so thought why not take another test. All I had left was the dollar store kind. I took it and forgot about it. I was eating my salad and remembered the test. I looked down at it...and...
Its a super faint line but its there! :)
So this was at lunch time, I waited 5 hours to tell GT! This was REALLY hard! I am horrible at keeping secrets especially one like this! But I waited... And this is how I told him...
Top left- I am pregnant!
I have a video of us telling the kids but it isnt working...so I will upload it to facebook later!
I hope to update weekly! I already have some things I dont want to forget!
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