I had my monthly doctor's visit yesterday! Here are the details:

BP: 110/60 good!
Belly: Measuring 24, perfect!
Weight gain: Not so good- 16 lbs total.
Blood Sugar: 88, great!
Ki's heart rate: 150

All in all was a good visit. In Longview, the OB/GYN does the circumcision not the pediatrician, so we had a talk about that. I dont know why it makes me nervous. Then we talked about the amount of pressure I have been feeling, he concluded it was just because Ki is so low. Then when I was leaving, I talked to the nurse about our financial agreement.

With Audrie we were soooooo so so so fortunate. I worked for the state and had BCBS insurance through them and my husband had insurance through his work, which I was on both. My final hospital bill was around $62,000.00. Whoa. And we didnt have to pay a penny. Thank you God!!!! This time we do have insurance and are so grateful for it, but we will have to pay some. I did throw myself a little pity party about how expensive it is to have a baby. Then God reminded me all He has done for my family. Not just the one I have now, but my family growing up. There were tough times, times I didnt know about it until my parents told us later....but He was always faithful. And He will be again! :)

Some fun news...Im gonna have another sonogram in a month! I wasnt really expecting to have another one, so I am excited to see little Ki's sweet face again!

What I Want...Mei Tai

When Audrie was about a month old, maybe a little older, I got a Moby Wrap. And it changed our lives forever!!!!

Aw, this picture made me tear up. I miss Audrie being this tiny! Although, I feel sorry for myself in this picture, so tired, so clueless...

Anyway, I feel like Baby Wearing is kinda like Cloth Diapering. You just want to try them all. There is nothing wrong with the Moby. I do plan to use it with Ki. But I want to try different kinds. When Audrie was about 8 months old and too big for the Moby, I bought a ring sling. And it never really worked for us. I dont know if she was too heavy or if I was putting it on wrong. I did save it and will try it out with Ki as well.

What I want is....a Mei Tai...and my friend Charity, said her favorite was a Freehand Mei Tai.

She prefers this wearer because of less fabric left over. Which I dont have that problem due to my weight, I pretty much us most of the fabric in the moby :)  I LOVE that it is cuter! And the baby seems more snug in it than the Moby. 

They run about $72, but I heard a new maternity store here, Babies N Bellies are going to sell them and I won a $50 gift card to there at MOPS...so if they do, I believe I will be getting one! 

What I want...

I listen to Kidd Kraddick every morning on my way to work. Jenna does this segment, I think its called "What Jenna Wants"...anyway its usually designer clothes, shoes and really expensive make-up. The idea is that its stuff she wants but cant neccessarily afford. And listeners get to comment on the things she wants on her blog.

Being 4 months away from child #2, there are alot of things "I want" for him and me. And some for Audrie. Just like Jenna's list, some things I wont get and cannot possibly afford, but its fun to want. Some things I do hope to save up money to buy.

Item #1 Diaper Bag

This is the kind of bag I want: has backpack capabilities as well as should carrying and stroller straps. Has a hard shell...meaning not just cloth. Something sturdy I can wipe off easily. Has lots of room. We are going to be doing cloth diapers and they take up lot of room. And last but not least something CUTE. Most of the backpack diaper bags actually look like backpacks. And I dont want that.

My bestie and I were looking around a local boutique here...which I never buy anything from because I cant afford it! And I was looking at their Kalencom diaper bags. Which I like the look of them, but no backpack feature and that is key for me. Especially with two. Now, I use a small backpack diaper bag for Audrie and love it. Anyway, and then I saw, Petunia Pickle Bottom Boxy Backpacks.

I fell in love. It has every feature I dreamed of. The bags are a little more fancy then I would design them, but I love it none the less. Then I saw the price tag, $167.00. Ugh. No wonder it is everything I want.

They come in three different fabric types: My fav is the glazed because it has the wipe off/sturdy affect.

And, they just put out their spring collections. Here are my favorites:

  

These are really small...and I dont know how to make them bigger! I am not in love with either of these patterns, I am going to keep looking for sells!

Next item...baby wearers!

24 Weeks and Audrie is 18 Months!

This is a my child has the flu and we have been inside for 3 days so mommy is comfy clothes picture!

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 24 Weeks

Size of baby: Over a pound and the length of an ear of corn.

Total Weight Gain/Loss:  Gained 15 lbs :(

Maternity Clothes: I am in everything maternity. 

Gender: Boy. Hezekiah "Ki" Eugene

Movement: He is moving ALOT! Today, Audrie and I took a nap together in the recliner and he kept moving. Not sure if it was like get off of me or hello sister of mine! :)

Sleep: Sleep is hit or miss. Last night I woke up at 3 am wide awake and didnt go back to sleep until about 5:30. 

What I miss: Jeans that are somewhat attractive.

Cravings: Raisin Bran Crunch, Apples in Peanut Butter, Caramel Cinnamon Rolls

Symptoms: Heartburn

Best Moment this week:  Audrie has had the flu and I have enjoy rocking her to sleep and even napping with her some. That really has nothing to do with Ki or my pregnancy but I have enjoyed it. Secondly, God is really teaching me alot and I LOVE IT! :)

Audrie is 18 months old!!!! 

Here is the wild woman:

I am not going to lie 14-18 months have been the most challenging months, but OH SO MUCH FUN! I am not going to start potty training like I had thought. Audrie has sat on the potty a few times but nothing happened. Hopefully, we will be moving her to a twin bed as making room for Ki begins! 

Audrie has a wide vocabulary and repeats most everything we say. Her favorite toys are her babies. She likes to push them around in their strollers or the shopping cart. She can point to and say most of her body parts. She knows the name of alot of animals and what sounds they make. Her favorite song is the "Itsy Bitsy Spider". She has started eating less and become more picky. She could care less about colors. She can count somewhat. I say 1, she sayd twwwooooo, then who knows what comes next. Usually five or six. Ha! One of my favorite things is she says Bless you when we sneeze and she is starting to say thank you without being prompted!

Usually GT makes a silly face when I make a serious one. So this time, I thought I would do silly and what does the man do? :)

How to Control the Monster

The day after I posted "The Monster Inside of Me", my Bible study was about uncontrolled emotions. I guess the monster has a name! :)

I decided I wanted go into a little more detail of the monster. Do you ever feel sometimes you cant control your emotions? Or they are so out of control that you dont even realize it? That is what is usually going on when my "monster" appears. And the thing is...emotions are good. God created them. And He created women with many of them :)  but sometimes we let them control us. And we let them decide how we treat others.

For me, it wasnt until pregnancy/newborn phase/ toddler phase that I had such strong emotions. Mixed with being a newlywed. Mixed with working for CPS and my husband losing his job...etc...etc...That will all bring on ALOT of emotions.

So the question isnt how to get rid of emotions. Like I said, I believe they are a good thing. I would HATE not being able to feel. The quest is to find out how to not let them get out of control and how to have a healthy release of emotion like my friend reminded me in my previous post.

Here are things that are helping and have helped me on this journey:
Praying (I have to do this ALOT)
Reading Scripture
Reading Books (Some Christian, some just an escape)
Late night talks with my GT
MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers)
Bible Study
Church (I cant tell you how 2 hours of worship/sermon help my monster)
Working Part-Time
Date Night
Painting
Play Dates
Etc...

How do you control your emotions from becoming a monster???

I need MOM advice!

I need advice from mom's of two or more children, preferably if you had them close together and they were using baby items at the same time.

1. Double Stroller. Do I need to invest in an expensive one or should I just get an umbrella type double stroller? My thoughts: I plan on wearing Ki as much as possible for the first 6 months of his life. The only time in those 6 months I think I will need a stroller is if we go somewhere that will be a lengthy amount of time, (i.e. the zoo, day of shopping, etc...)

The two I like are:

$99 at Target. I really like the side by side strollers.

or

Which can do all sorts of cool things and is $199 at Target. I really love this stroller. I just cant decide if it is worth the money. 

I dont really even use a stroller that often with Audrie anymore. I used to when I walked with my girlfriends, but since I am working I wont be doing that.

Baby Monitors

Am I still going to want one in Audries room after Ki is here? I mean she sleeps through the night even when she is sick. I think the only reason I will is because she will be in a toddler bed and sometimes I might want to see what she is doing. We have video monitors and LOVE them!

I really thought I had more questions but cant think of them at the moment. I will welcome any advice as I start preparing to have 2 little ones! Also, if you have brought your infant to work with you, I will take any advice on that as well. The plan as of now is to take Ki to work with me until he is atleast 6 months old! AH! :)

The Monster Inside Me

The "monster" really came unleashed during my first pregnancy. I became this hormonal mess of a woman. I treated my husband worst than I would treat my dog. When I look back at it, I think WHO was that woman? I get embarrassed by how I acted and even though we laugh about it now, I still tell GT how sorry I am for being that way. What I hate the most is I thought it was ok. I blamed it on the pregnancy and my job. Even though they did contribute a big deal, it was not ok.

Then, Audrie is born. I wish the monster went away. But she didnt. She really got worst. And my husband had some monster come out in him. Of course we couldnt take it out on our newborn, so we took it out on each other. We blamed it on lack of sleep and the exhaustion only a new baby could bring. I dont remember even feeling a bond with my husband during that first 3 months of Audries life. We were only surviving.

Things got better. We attended a marriage retreat and God really did a work in our marriage which in turn affected our patience with each other and with a baby...

Then Audrie became a toddler. And my monster returned. I have a hard time explaining the frustration that a toddler brings. It is so much fun and I love her more than I could ever imagine loving someone, along with it comes a different kind of exhaustion and frustration. I would never have thought I would get so worked up over a 18 month old getting in dog food. And of course I blame it on being pregnant again and Audrie being so strong-willed. Again, both of those did contribute, but I hate who I become at times. This is not the example God wants me to pass on to Audrie.

I have been struggling with this for a few months now. It comes and goes, some days are worst than others. Then God spoke...

And He said, Lydia...come to me. Pray to me for the patience and the wisdom. You are trying to be a parent on your own and this is never how it is supposed to be. On your own, you are a monster because you're broken come to me and I will make you whole.

I cannot tell you the relief and peace I feel now. Will the monster still come out? More than likely. But the fact that God is on my parenting team makes me rest assured that things will be ok. Part of this has come from reading the book "What the Bible Says about Parenting" by John McArthur. I am only on the second chapter and it has been life-changing. I will share more later...