Worst Mommy Ever

For those of you moms, you know what it is like when something happens and you feel like the worst mommy ever. In just the short 4 months, Audrie and I have had together, there have been quite a few of those moments. For example: Audrie had heartburn the first 2 months of her life and I didnt know...When Audrie was about a month old, I was buckling her in her car seat, and got a piece of her leg in the buckle...etc...

well last night it happened again...For the first 2 1/2 months of Audrie's life I bit her fingernails off instead of clipping them or filing them. **For those of you who do not know babies fingernails grow really fast and are really sharp, and they like to touch their face, which=scratches** So anyway, hers are pretty long and she will not sit still enough for me to bite them anymore. I used to do it when she was eating or sleeping, but now she moves too much. SO, last night after I fed her I was going to cut them. I have successfully done this twice. I am holding her hand still and I cut a few, then one time I am cutting them, she jerks her hand, and I cut the skin :( She screams, so I hold her tight...she cried for like 20 seconds. Then she was ok. GT asks, Is she bleeding? I look at her finger and I am like no, thank God! Then I look at her other hand, it was bleeding, I was looking at the wrong hand!!!! So I put her on the changing table and there is blood everywhere. All on her pajama's, on her face, on her blanket...So GT goes and gets little bandaids and neosporin. It wasnt successful. Her finger is still bleeding the whole time. Then I try part of a cotton ball and medical tape. It worked for about a minute. The reason it was bleeding so much was because Audrie kept clenching and un-clenching her fist! The only thing that made it bearable is the whole time we are trying to put a band-aid on her, she was smiling and cooing. After she cried those 20 seconds, she never cried again.

Anyway, I felt bad. So to vent, I thought I would blog it. I mean really I know I am a good mom. That might be a cocky sentence. But after working for CPS, I KNOW I am a good mom because I have seen the definition of a BAD mom up close and personal. But when things like this happen it just makes you feel bad. I am sure there will be more of these post to come!