I probably shouldn't have written in the last post that Audrie was sleeping at night time...for the last few nights Audrie has been so fussy and not wanting to sleep! Last night I really am not sure if either of us slept at all. And who knows why. I was reading one of the baby books I have which said infants eat between 2-4 ounces of formula. And they will only eat until they are satisfied. We were only giving Audrie 2 oz of formula...so I was thinking, well I will try it out. That little girl drank the whole 4 ounces! Then I started feeling bad and wondering if she has been hungry all this time! SO now, I give her 4 ounce bottles, sometimes she only drinks 3 1/2 but I dont want her to be hungry!
Speaking of formula...we were starting to run low since we upped the ounces to 4! So we went to Wal-Mart yesterday and found out they do not carry the formula we get in liquid form (our pediatrician wants us to keep her on the liquid kind until she is 2 months). So GT went to Target because that is where we were getting it--and they were out! So this morning I had the task of finding some. So I went to a different Wal-Mart, same situation. They carry the powder not the liquid (we use nestle good start). So then someone told me on facebook to try Walgreens and HALLELUJAH they had it! WHO KNEW? Walgreens! So I bought the 3 cases they had! Then someone else informed me on fb that we have a Toys R US in Longview and they carry formula. So tomorrow I am going to go check just so we will know. Anyway, I was starting to get worried, I didnt know what we were going to do!
I still am a little bummed I am not breast feeding. I know it was just not an options for us with Audrie not latching on and me having such a low milk supply. I just really wanted to do it. And reading all these baby books, all they talk about is how breast feeding is so much better for babies. I am like, I FREAKIN know! I WANT TO! Then they started running this commercial about breast feeding! I was like really...really... I know it doesn't make me a bad mom and all that...it just makes me a little sad. Hopefully with our next children we wont have all of these things working against it and I will be able to breast feed successfully. I will def. be more sensitive to people who bottle feed even if it is by choice. Prior to having Audrie, I didnt understand but now I do. It seems that way with alot of thoughts and beliefs I had prior to having her.
Tomorrow I will take some pictures of the sweet little girl and post them. She is changing so fast already. I was just looking at some pictures of her from last weekend and she has already grown so much since then!!!! Make it stoppppppp!!!!! Last night GT said he is ready for her to start talking! HAHA! I am like NNNOOOOO...I just want her to start smiling and laughing. (for other reasons than just gas!)
Things have been settling down and we are starting to get in a bit of a routine. For the past 2 nights, Audrie has slept in the play pen/ bassinet next to the bed and not with me at all! Hallelujah! She continues to wake me up every 2 1/2 to 3 hours for feeding during the night. She is a hungry little girl! We have uped her ounces of formula and we think it is helping. It is hard to know how much to give a baby to eat. I decided to completely give up on the breastfeeding. It was just too much. Hopefully with our next child, we wont have the same complications and I will be able to breast feed successfully!
We bought an activity gym Wednesday.. She isnt sure about it yet and she isnt sure about tummy time either. Sometimes she seems to like it and other times she cries. I am sure as she gets older she will like them. Same thing with her bouncy seat and swing. She really only likes those if she is really tired and asleep. She loves her car seat and usually sleeps in it during the day even if we are going anywhere.
On Wednesday, Audrie, Lynzie and I went shopping. We went to the mall, burlington, sams and target! Whew! It was a fun day. Lynzie is 41 weeks pregnant--we were trying to help her go into labor. It was unsuccessful. Lynzie is being induced in the morning at 7 am! We are so excited to meet baby Adalynn. Adalynn and Audrie will be 19 days apart! We hope they get to be good friends! It is very fun to have a friend to be pregnant with and to have newborns with!
So glad to be getting a little back to normal. GT and I went on a date last Saturday while Grammy kept Audrie. It was very fun and refreshing. We love forward to many more dates!
We went to the pediatrician yesterday for Audrie's 2 week appointment. I cant believe she is 2 weeks!!!!!!!!! The appointment went very good, we LOVE the pediatrician. He was SOOOO nice and took time to answer all our questions very thoroughly. Audrie weighed 8 lb 6.5 oz and is now 20 1/4 inches long. We are very glad she is back close to birth weight. She has completely stopped latching on even to the breast shield, so we are giving her an ounce of formula and an ounce of breastmilk each bottle. My milk supply is still low, so I started Reglan this morning, hoping it will build my milk supply and I can keep pumping. It would be wonderful if I could pump enough to just give her breastmilk, but at this point, that aint happenin! I did have a hard time deciding to do this. Actually, Audrie kind of decided, but I had really really wanted to breast feed.
Audrie still has her days and nights mixed up. She sleeps very soundly allllll day long, then after her 10 pm feeding, she is wide awake. Prior to having her, GT and I read the Baby Wise book on how to get your infant on a feeding/sleeping schedule. We were all gung ho about it until she got here. In the first few days she would only sleep at night if she was laying on me. Which is understandable, she was brand-new out of the womb and she was 4 weeks early, so she expected to be in there a little longer! Well now, sometimes she sleeps in the basinet next to our bed, but most times she is in the bed with me. I NEVER EVER thought I would let her sleep with me before she was here, now I kinda like it. And I know what everyone says, you better not start that or they will always be in the bed with you, blah...blah... but when it is 3:30 am and I am exhausted, I will do anything to make her stop crying and go to sleep which means putting her in the bed with me. SO today, I had decided, I was going to start Baby Wise and I would put her in her crib for a nap. Well,,,it didnt work. When she started crying, I could handle it for about 3 minutes. Then I took her out and she was fine. I just dont know what to do. I guess I keep telling myself since she was premature it is ok and when she is closer to her due date then I should really start her sleeping in her crib. We will see....
Yesterday we went and met with the lactation nurse again. Audrie weighs 7 lbs 14 oz! The nurse said this is perfect because she is supposed to gain 1 oz a day! She said my milk supply is coming in slow due to the magnesium I was on after and during labor. So she started me on an herbal supplement fenugreek. Hopefully, this will help and Audrie and I will get on a better feeding schedule. She still isnt latching on, which the nurse thinks she wont until closer to her due date...So about 3 more weeks. It is very frustrating...
Last night from about 1:30 to 4:30 Audrie screamed and cried. I guess this is our first welcome into having a baby. We think she might have been constipated or had gas. I just laid there and cried why she did. It is not fun when your baby cries like that especially when there is nothing you can do for her. GT wanted to bring her to the emergency room...I had to explain to him that this is just what babies do on occasion.
So we have been sleeping all morning, and will probably got back to sleep after this feeding. I dont know how working moms do it. I could not imagine going to work after the night we had.
The birth story really started 10 tens days before the actual birth. For those of you reading this blog, you already know about most of those 10 days, but I will give a short recap. I was put in the hospital on bed rest on July 23 because my doctor found high levels of protein in my urine. The next day I was diagnosed with mild pre-eclampsia. Then they tested my blood sugars because Audrie was so big, and then I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Then the next day my doctor had me tested for an infection, which I had of course...so I had many things going against me when just a week before my pregnancy was "normal" or so we thought.
Thursday, July 30, we had a sonogram with a high-risk doctor. He looked at my amniotic fluid and said it was at an 8.7 and anything below an 8 is dangerous. He said I would have another sonogram the next Monday and if my fluid levels dropped they might consider inducing or a c-section. Well, Sunday night (Aug 2) I was eating my chicken strips waiting on GT to come visit, and a nurse came into my room and said the high-risk doctor came in early since he had so many patients to see and he wanted to see me right then. So, I put down my chicken strips, put on my slippers and went down the hall. He checked my fluid and said it was between 6 and 7. He said he would call my doc and see if she wanted to induce me that night or observe me through-out the night. Well, my doc choose to have me observed overnight. That means we were put in this tiny tiny room with a bed and a chair. I was hooked up to an IV and had a external fetal monitor hooked up to my belly all night. This was one of the worst experiences of this whole ordeal. They could only get a good heartbeat when I was on my back. Well, being on your back is one of the most uncomfortable positions for a pregnant woman especially when it is 2 am and you just want to sleep. So every 15 minutes the nurse would come in and have to move the monitor. Then every time I had to use the restroom they had to unhook my monitors and carry the iv pole to the bathroom...AH! It was verrryy frustrating. So, I slept about 2 hours total that whole night.
The next morning, Monday, August 3. A nurse came and got us for a sonogram at 7:30 am. My levels had dropped to under 6. The high-risk doctor said this meant that my placenta was sick and the only way to make it better is to have the baby. Then my doc and the high-risk doc were contemplating whether I could be induced or if I would need a c-section. The high-risk doc said that women with pre-eclampsia have difficult labors and usually end up with a c-section anyway. So they decided that my doc would check me to see if I had any progression and if I didnt then we would have to do a c-section. Doc checked me and I was dilated between 2-3 cm and I was 70% effaced. WOOHOO!
So it all begins. I was brought into a Labor & Delivery room. My doc came in and broke my water (what little water there was), then she put in an internal fetal monitor (which I did not know that is what she was doing, but I didnt have a choice) and a catheter. The nurse came in around 8:30 am and hooked me up to pitocin and magnesium sulfate. The "mag" was given to me for the pre-eclampsia. The issue is they usually give "mag" to patients who go into pre-term labor to stop contractions. So here I am on medicine (pitocin) to make contractions stronger and on "mag" which causes them to slow down. We all thought I would be in labor for a long time. My doc told me that I had to have an epidural for two reasons: 1) to keep my blood pressure down during labor and 2) if I had to have a c-section, she wanted me to be awake and without the epidural they would have to put me completely to sleep. SO about 10:30 am the CRNA came in a gave me the epidural. I am not going to lie, at this point I was ready for the epidural. I was strapped to the bed with tubes in all parts of my body. My water had been broke and I was on pitocin. I was already experiencing pretty bad contractions and was relieved to get the epidural.
At around 11 am the nurse checked me and I was 5 cm dilated and my cervix was completely thinned out. The doc came and checked me on her lunch break. She said the same thing, and asked me not to have the baby until 5 (she acted like she was kidding but I know she wasnt). At 3:00 pm, the nurse came in and I told her that I felt like I was ready to push so she checked me a sure enough I was completely dilated and effaced, the baby was at 0 station. The doc wanted me to be in labor a little longer before pushing to see if Audrie would move down some (or because she wanted to see her other patients first). So at 3:30, we began pushing. Even though I had the epidural, this is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. It started out rather easy. It was GT and my mom on either side of me, my nurse and a nurse assistant. Then doc came in around 4:15...and like 3 other nurses came in with her and the really hard pushing started. I was trying to relax and do deep breathing in between pushes and the nurses and doc where just chatting away about anything and everything. There was one annoying nurse in there that kept saying "push, push, push, push" during each contraction. I wanted to hit her, but I got her back later by throwing up all of her. So...then at 5:46, I did a few good pushes and Audrie was here. And like I said, I puked everywhere.
GT told me that the doc was pulling my placenta out. I am glad I didnt know this because it would have made me very mad. I was trying to look at Audrie as she was getting cleaned off and everything else. The doc then told me I had a 3rd degree tear but she wouldnt tell me how many stitches she put in me.
After about 15 minutes (which felt like 10 hours), they handed Audrie to me. Honestly, I was so tired and overwhelmed, I didnt know what to think or how to feel. I just kept thinking, I cant believe I just gave birth!
Everything was healthy with mama and baby after the birth! We have had some difficulties feeding...We thought it was due to my milk not coming in quick enough, but it is actually because Audrie is 4 weeks early so her development is behind a month. So, we are having to make some adjustments and feeding time can be very stressful. I know it is worth it and it will get easier.
I could not have imagined how wonderful it is to be a mom. I already have this overwhelming feeling to protect her and not wanting her to grow up--and she is 5 days old! GT has been so awesome through all of this. He is up with me helping feed and doing whatever needs to be done. He is so amazing, I dont know what I would do without him. He is also the only way I could have made it pushing during labor. I was ready to give up, but GT kept me going...Audrie is one lucky girl to have such an awesome daddy!!!!!!!!
So here we are at day 5. We are exhausted and I have been crying alot. But they arent sad tears, and sometimes I dont even know why I am crying, but it feels good to get it out. Yesterday, we met with a lactation nurse. Audrie weighed 7 lbs 10 oz, so we switched formulas and are giving her more now. We have this little contraption we use when feeding where she still breast feeds but also get formula. We go back Tuesday to get her PKU done and she will have another weigh-in. Hopefully, she will have gained some of that weight back.
That is about it for now. Tonight is GT and I's first night home alone with her. My mom has been here since Wednesday helping us out. Of course, I cried for like 2 hours when she left. I think we will be going to stay with her next week some. We will see how things go....
If you havent already heard Audrie Kate was born Monday, August 3. She weighed 8 lbs 7 oz and was 20 inches long! When I have time, I am going to write out the whole birth story, hope to do it soon so I dont forget anything!
Here are a few pics that will have to do for now...hopefully soon we will be on a routine...but right now, we are pretty tired and having some feeding issues that keep things exciting around here!